but it's not the end...the end of the world...it's just another day

I have just about had it.

Our house has been "almost done" for five months. Nothing has been worked on since the baby was born. There are three windows that need to go in, electrical, a/c and plumbing run, then siding put up, roof painted and finish carpentry done. I have told my husband and my father-in-law that ALL that is necessary to be complete for us to move in is electrical and plumbing. But has anything been done? No.

For five months we have awakened in a bed crammed into one end of a Terry camper, probably twenty feet long (bed and bathroom included) and ten feet wide with the pop-out open. All of our seasonal clothes, shoes, bedding, computer stuff, etc., is stuffed into nooks and crannies and cabinets. Most of the cabinets are full with my husband's grandparents' belongings, except for two above our bed. The stove and oven do not work, so cooking isn't an option, and the pantry space is nearly full of someone else's stuff. Non-edible stuff.

The faucet in the camper broke two weeks ago. So now, in addition to the tiny space and nonexistent ability to cook or clean or wash dishes, we now cannot shower, brush our teeth or give the baby a bath, not to mention go to the bathroom. So every night, we trek over to my in-laws house, wash our faces, use the bathroom, and march back to go to bed. In the middle of the night, you either get up, put daytime clothes on (in case the father-in-law should accidentally awaken, one cannot wear one's normal pajamas) and walk across the yard, or hold it. It is absolutely ridiculous. During the day, we have to wait for the little boys to be not napping or home already before we can so much as shower or give the baby a bath.

I try to be gone as much as possible.

We haven't slept in our own bed for five months. The baby is sleeping in a bouncy seat that she is nearly too big for. If I want so much as a pie plate, I have to dig through thirty boxes to find it. I cannot cook for my husband, keep a pantry stocked, entertain anyone overnight or for dinner, plan events hosted at our home, decorate for Thanksgiving (much less Christmas), put the baby to sleep AND clean the house at the same time, or even so much as have all of my clothing in one place. I have to borrow my sister-in-law's kitchen to cook anything, and if I cook anything, it has to be for the entire family. No more Valentine's Day special dinners. No more hot caramel rolls or Pannekoeken for breakfast. It's cereal or a piece of fruit. And a cold deli-meat sandwich. That's it. For the past five months. It's humiliating, embarrassing, frustrating and exhausting.

It is pointless to hint, cajole, beg, plead, threaten or cry. My husband, precious man, is working sixty hours a week, pausing only to sleep, give me a break with the baby, or take a moment of down time for himself. My father-in-law is busy, too---but night after night, I watch him come home, sit down at the computer, look at pictures and fall asleep in his chair. While I'm carting the diaper bag, baby blankets, the popcorn bowl, the baby, my purse and cell phone back across to the camper to go to sleep for the night. All I can do is pray, be sweet to the men anyway, and go in the cabin when they aren't here and work on it myself.

I am getting on the phone right now with my Dad to learn about electrical boxes. And then I'm going to go into the cabin, where it was promised to me that we were going to be living five months ago, and finish it myself. My job, my house, my life---I'm tired of waiting for other people to find the time and inspiration to complete something that doesn't affect their day-to-day life in the least. So now, it's my job.

So there.